WW Me Too, Part 1
The year is 2034, and I write to you as a man – at least I still believe I’m a man. I’ve had to listen to so many vagina monologues that I can’t be sure anymore. Everything they feed me is pumpkin spiced, and I can’t take it anymore. I was captured last year at the Battle of Plano in the heart of what used to be known as Texas (now known as The Freepeople of Austin’s Land Collective). I can’t be certain, but I think Plano might be the last place in America where there are still real men – if it hasn’t fallen already. In my dreams, the men of Plano are discussing how best to mulch their lawn and high-fiving over fantasy football.
When World War MeToo broke out in 2018, I was a simple school teacher in upstate New York. Those days are long gone. I have spent many years fighting the women, transsexuals and cucked men of America as they have waged a fierce campaign against all things masculine. For me, it started when my wife decided to go vegan. Then came the book club. Then the meetings at the local school hall. Soon, she was talking about smashing the patriarchy and about Trump being literally Hitler. It seems so long ago now. I was thrown out soon after, when her newfound lesbian lover, Susan, moved in.
I have been lucky that the women who captured me have allowed me to write the history of the war. As expected, the moment that the women took over, the grid went down (as expected), and we have become a more “natural and green” society. I hope that this story will be told one day, although I have no idea whether anyone will ever see these writings.
It came, but not as we expected. No buttons were pushed. No mushroom clouds appeared on the horizon. But it happened anyway. We were not overcome by a ruthless foreign power. Nor were we held for ransom by a tyrannical government. And yet the war still came. It seemed that there was nothing that could stop it. It started small. A couple hundred khaki-pants-clad white nationalists attempting to start a Hawaiian-themed luau on a steamy Virginia night.
Virginia turned out to be for racists and Antifa, and not at all for lovers.
Regardless of your opinions or feelings, American history was beginning to be erased all across the country. Textbooks were sanitized. Colleges and universities became places where students felt safe and became indoctrinated with socialist values from rich, tenured, borderline-Communist professors – and it was great, for a time.
I am a white, cis-gendered male, and after 2018, white males became ostricized. They turned to a soy-based diet to reduce their testosterone in failed attempts to coerce women into pity sex. With men fully cuckolded, women began to display their dominance. They began to treat men the way men used to treat the prettiest girl at a bar. It started wit cat-calls, but it quickly turned sour. We men were shamed. We were mocked. Then things got serious.
Women suddenly held all of the power. After women marched in the streets to let the world know that they had had enough of men touching them weirdly or explaining things to them, women now were in charge. The #MeToo movement had become diluted in 2018 and moved quickly away from its original intention. Soon it became a rallying cry for the extreme Left in America, composed mostly of women, transgender activists, pedophiles, and cuckolded househusbands who came out to support their wives.
With pussy-hats and crowbars, they set out to destroy every monument to toxic masculinity that they could find. Like a plague of locusts, they swarmed on the Washington Monument, deeming it too phallic. It was destroyed in March of 2019. Next, they took over football stadiums during games, tearing seats from the concrete at Lambeau Field in Green Bay and at Texas Stadium in Dallas. They hit gyms, bars, breweries, NASCAR tracks, shooting ranges, gun stores, pornography shops, and auto mechanics as well. It was a whirlwind of feminine destruction not seen since Joan of Arc went through reassignment surgery in 1429.
It wasn’t long before the entire United States was under “Marsha Law.” Public schools became known as “Feelings Transition Centers.” Children were taught that men are bad, boys can be girls, and all people are beautiful regardless of the number of neck rolls under their chin.
Men tried to fight back. Small pockets of resistance began to crop up in places like Plano, Texas; Watertown, New York; Wichita, Kansas; Idaho Falls, Idaho; and Flagstaff, Arizona. Flagstaff was the first to fall. The Tucker-Carlson-led “Bowtie Brigade” fought hard, and for months they held the line. One final push from the FemiNazis out of Portland finally finished off the Bowtie Brigade. Any glimmer of hope that the Bowtie Brigade had allowed men across America to feel was quickly extinguished by the hair-laden armpit sweat of the FemiNazis. There were minor victories for masculinity, such as the Battle of Topeka. Men were able to drive the feminist movement back as far as their rally point at the University of Kansas in Lawrence. The feminists rallied with chants of “rock, chalk, equal pay – hawk,” and the men of Kansas were forced to retreat to Wichita.
Things went from bad to worse after the Siege of Wichita. The Siege lasted 145 days and only ended when a Wichita businessman named Jeff Probic relinquished his television’s remote control to his wife after 27 years of fighting over it. Much had been lost, and still the news got worse for men.
Elon Musk was dragged from his Tesla Sleep Chamber™ that he used to recharge his batteries and was beaten in the streets of San Jose. Hugh Hefner’s corpse was dug up in Los Angeles and paraded through the streets. Men were on the verge of extinction. That is, until a leader emerged from the ashes of the Battle of Port Townsend. He strode from the woods carrying only an axe and a battered keyboard and when his name is spoken the feminazis tremble. He is our only hope.