Updated Version of George Carlin’s 7 Dirty Words You Can’t Say on TV

Carlin, NV – Famed comedian George Carlin shocked the world by calling a press conference this week after years “away.”

MSNBC: Mr. Carlin, how wonderful to see you again!

George Carlin: After years of rolling over in my grave, I have risen to save you all from the dire consequences that “political correctness” poses to society. You are shaping a world where context doesn’t exist, which means the death of comedy is inevitable.

UNN: But Mr. Carlin, surely we can still have hope? The government knows what’s best, and if they think we shouldn’t say certain things, there has to be a reason.

George Carlin: Fuck hope! If you think the government should have a solution for everything, you are a part of the problem! There’s a reason alright. There is a war on dissent, and “political correctness” is a weapon of silence.

Daily Wire: Sadly, we think you’re right. We need to stop buying into the notion that the government is the solution to all of our problems. The extreme Left’s solution to offensive speech is censorship under the guise of “progress.” Hindering people’s thoughts and speech is NOT progress, it’s DANGEROUS!

George Carlin: I’ve updated my 7 dirty words you can’t say on TV. The new words reflect the insanity of what is now being determined to be offensive language.

UNN: What are the 7 words, Mr. Carlin?

George Carlin: To match the craziness of the Left, you can never know which words are going to be on the list. It’s always somebody else’s list, and the list can change from day to day. Here’s what the words are today:

1. Biology – There are no longer only two genders. Now you can identify as a unicorn or a toaster while giving your kids hormone replacement therapy without it even being considered child abuse.

2. Masculinity – Not only is this word now deemed to be dirty, but apparently it’s also toxic.

3. Republican – Allegedly, it’s the new National Socialist German Workers Party. One of these things is not like the other. One of these things doesn’t belong.

4. Disagree – Evidently, if you have a different opinion, that makes you a bad person. END OF DISCUSSION!

5. Guns – Just saying this dirty word will cause a trigger. No bullets necessary!

6. Immigration – There are so many illegals – oops, sorry, the political correct term is “undocumented.” If Democrats had heard me say that, they’d be climbing the walls!  Which reminds me: Build the Wall!  Make America Great Again!

7. Autonomy – Collectivists are desperately trying to sweep our individual freedoms and values under the rug: independence, traditional family, freedom of speech, limited government, and, of course, dissent. We have to get permission and get licensed by the government in almost everything we do drive, get married, build, open a business, even hunt and fish. The government has too much say in our daily lives. It is not their place to regulate our lives; it is our own. The illusions of this mob-mentality carpet ride will unravel our society; and the consequences are far more detrimental than we can begin to comprehend. Imagine a world where Big Brother is the only family we have. You can’t? I can’t either, and I don’t want to.

George Carlin: And there you have it, folks, 7 updated dirty words you’re not allowed to say on TV (or in any social situation) to avoid causing a micro-aggression meltdown. There used to be a thing called a reality check, but because facts are meaningless now, the only checking we’re allowed to do is to check our privilege. I don’t know about you, but I think we may need to check into the insane asylum if this is called progress!

Daily Wire: Amen to that!

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