Trump Engagement Syndrome

By September 10, 2018Real Fake News

New York, NY – UNN has learned that psychologists have recently identified a new mental condition that has been afflicting news-savvy individuals in the center and to the Right of the political spectrum.

“Trump Engagement Syndrome” (TES) has been blamed for causing a range of symptoms, including euphoria, hope, and boredom for those affected.  This condition frequently occurs among people who spend more than two hours each day following current events and getting information not commonly available from the major news networks.

A New York woman held the wedding of her dreams on Liberty Island last week. “Lady Liberty has always held a special place in my heart,” said Donna Smith-Liberty.  “So I thought, Why not make it official? I’m not a lesbian, but I still love this wonderful lady!”  Two hundred guests were transported to the island by a ferry completely decked out with flowers and ribbons.  Cake and champagne were served to invited guests and tourists on the island.

“Now that the ceremony is over,” said Smith-Liberty, “I can share that I was really inspired by President Trump.  I really wanted the people I care most about to be with me on my special day, even if they didn’t support the President or his policies, so I had to keep it quiet.  But now I can say publicly that I believe he’s doing great things for this country, and his tax cut paid for all the champagne!”

JB (not his real name) agreed with Donna’s opinion of President Trump, but his TES manifested itself in a very different way.  “I found myself getting bored with all the winning.  I’m getting back into some of the hobbies that I dropped in 2016 in order to support Trump’s candidacy.” The first item on the list, according to JB, was cleaning his room.  JB’s therapist prescribed practicing standing up straight with his shoulders back.  He plans to be stumping for Trump during the lead-up to the next Presidential election.

UNN asked White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders about TES.  “This is something we’re very concerned about.  The latest group of candidates for internships in the White House expressed an almost universal concern that the jobs available would not offer enough challenging tasks.  They want assignments that will look impressive on their resumes.”  Evidently, chaperoning Vice President Mike Pence at supper is not a choice assignment after five years of an Ivy League education.

Psychologist Steven Molinue is careful to remind us that the condition is in the early stages of diagnosis, and professionals disagree about how things will progress over the next two years.  Some expect to see exactly the opposite of the symptoms experienced in Trump Derangement Syndrome, which range from frustration to irrational claims to actual violence.  Others expect TES symptoms to be much less extreme – and no criminal activity has yet been blamed on TES sufferers.

“A lot depends on how the political climate goes, as we move through the midterm elections, and beyond.”  Molinue encourages anyone who feels overwhelmed by feelings about President Trump, whether positive or negative, to seek professional help.

SunflowerBear

Author SunflowerBear

Jane of all trades, mistress of none, reformed feminist and eternal optimist.

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