The Truth Hurts, B*tches: Explaining Venezuela to Republicans

By June 11, 2018Real Fake News

By Empersonuel Mocron

If you’ve ever been on Twitter to bring the warmth of the wisdom of socialism to brain-dead, alt-Right, Klansperson bigots, then both you and I know that before you can finish typing out the word socialism, they type in all caps “VENEZUELA !” The Protein-boys are so zealous that I once wrote about a possible no-social app coming out, and my DM box was flooded with socialism-is-bad memes for a month.

So in the hopes of helping out my warriors for equality in all aspects of life, let’s take an in-depth look at Venezuela and show the people what is really happening.

Here in this picture we see friends hanging out having fun with their faces covered to prevent initial racism. How great would it be to meet new people and have no clue what race they are?  You have no clue what secrets lie under the makeshift face coverings. Judge you? I can’t even see you!


Look at these green warriors. A lot of people might look at the picture and accuse these guys of building a barricade to keep out the government, or maybe a battering ram to get into a building that has food supplies. The truth is that these environmental justice warriors counted eleven trees on one side of the road and nine trees on the other side, and that is a problem they don’t intend to let go unfixed.


Some would look at this picture and see run-down housing. I look at this picture and see the death of classism. Everyone has a house nearly the same size and in the same condition. What a paradise they live in. A paradise free of wealth privilege.


CO2 from evil vehicles? Not in Venezuela!


If you talk to a Conservative for more than two seconds, you’ll probably hear him or her say something about family values and how important they are, and then at dinner that night see their kids with their faces plastered to electronic devices. Well, here is a Venezuelan family having a nice picnic together with zero electronic devices.


Worried about body-shaming? Not in Venezuela. Americans are ranked as the fattest people in the world. Venezuela’s people have the lowest body-fat ranking in the world.


Last and most important: look at these people fighting to get into the socialist paradise of Venezuela. So the next time someone tries to use Venezuela as an argument against socialism, just copy this article link and send them our way!


Author DalekBear

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