Scottish Grandfather Jailed for ‘Family Story’

By September 28, 2018Real Fake News

Millport, Scotland – An intolerant Scottish grandfather was sentenced to three nights in jail and sensitivity training for telling what he claims was a “family story.”

Simon McGreevy, 87, claims he can trace his family’s Scottish roots back to the 11th century. While he may seem sweet and innocent, underneath his frail physique lies a cesspool of hatred and bigotry. After three days of peace, his Scottish community is in a state of apprehension knowing that he has been temporarily released from jail and is once again roaming their streets. After allegations of causing distress to gay people with a disparaging and insulting slur and teaching these same behaviors to minors within his own family, McGreevy has spent the last three days in police custody. Against the advice of his counsel and city officials, McGreevy called UNN to share his side of the story. [Editor’s note: the following may not be suitable for some readers:]

“Last Sunday I told me grandchildren the same tale me own great-grandfather used to tell the little ones in our family, a story about a trickster fairy that roams the Scottish plains. In the story, the little fairy tries to deceive the neighborhood children to get them to let him into their homes. Once inside, the fairy ties them up so it can steal all the sugar in the house. Me grandchildren loved the story! We spent the afternoon keepin’ a look out for the fairy, and the children were having a fun go of setting fairy traps — they were full of spunk and giggles the whole day. The next day the wee barras told some blue-haired teacher o’ theirs. The wench ratted me to the school’s ‘Sensitivity Council.’ The next day me local police came and threw me arse in jail for three nights. I still don’t fully know who or how I was being offensive, though they said something about teaching negative stereotypes of sexual preferences. I don’t know what the hell is going on.”

McGreevy is being charged under the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act of 1994 and if convicted could be sentenced to up to six months in prison or up to a level-five fine.


Author SeeingEyeBear

Hanging out in a cave in the forest. And the proper term is a "cinnamon" bear. Start calling me a brown bear and we're going to have a problem.

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