Owen Benjamin Reveals Rape by Matt Damon

By October 16, 2018Real Fake News

 

Gig Harbor, WA – Owen Benjamin has bravely revealed that he was raped by Matt Damon.

While some may think that claiming that Matt Damon raped Owen Benjamin is some type of poorly conceived bit of satire, the statement that Matt Damon raped Owen Benjamin is corroborated by Amy Benjamin, a woman, and thus makes his statement, that Matt Damon raped him, a 10 on the scale of absolute metaphysical certitude.

The allegation that Matt Damon raped Owen Benjamin is just another shocking revelation in Matt Damon’s sordid history after his portrayal of ignorance about Harvey Weinstein that made him look slightly less smart than his portrayal on Team America: World Police.

When UNN asked Owen Benjamin to elucidate on his claims that Matt Damon raped him, he castigated this reporter for not respecting his right to privacy and just accepting his truth. He reminded me that Matt Damon raped him, and it was true that Matt Damon raped him, and he could prove that Matt Damon raped him, because Amy, a woman, has corroborated his truth that Matt Damon raped him.

 

By FUBEAR
UNN Correspondent

UnbearableNews

Author UnbearableNews

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