It’s Time to Get Healthy at Any Size

By July 13, 2018It's Time, Video

UNN Op-Ed

UNN has discovered a new exercise program designed just for us Leftists! If you’re obese and have been told you need to work on it, this may be the program for you.

You may have heard that you can be healthy at any size, but how exactly are you supposed to do that? You know how much your back aches. Your knees sound like that last thirty seconds of your favorite popcorn in the microwave.

Your doctor has likely been lecturing you to lose weight. She’s been telling you:

  • Your blood pressure is high.
  • Your cholesterol is high.
  • Your blood sugar is high.

She’s telling you to exercise. She’s saying to watch what you eat.

But high scores are a good thing right? So what exactly is she talking about?

There’s great news! If you sign up for a Leftist Fitness Instructor, you can tell your doctor you’ve gotten a personal trainer. Let all those people giving you dirty looks and snarky comments know that your personal trainer has seen great progress!

Don’t worry, though; you don’t have to do anything. Check out the video above to see how you too can get a trainer, do nothing, and still be able to virtue-signal about how your weight is the fault of something else!

Warning: This may kill you, but you’ll feel virtuous in the process!
Mauleen Lowd

Author Mauleen Lowd

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