If you want a job that involves more digging than a Democratic Socialist, then you might want to become a grave digger. Ever since Brett Kavanaugh was selected by Trump as his nominee to the Supreme Court, I and many other brave, progressive DNC socialists have joined together to dig through all of Kavanaugh’s past to find something to prevent his appointment to the Supreme Court. After twelve soy lattes and many days with no sleep, we’ve finally found it!
After looking through the Facebook accounts of Kavanaugh’s daughters, we came across a post written in fear from one of his daughters’ friends detailing a horrible incident where Brett Kavanaugh was trying to shove his wife’s head into an oven.
You ask a great question there, oh minor whose identity must be protected. Who puts people into ovens? Everyone together: Nazis! Nazis and ovens go together like me and my hair dye. This cannot go any further, and we must demand that Brett “The Dutch Oven Murderer” Kavanaugh not be allowed to sit in a position of power that will allow him to literally throw people into ovens. If you choose to do nothing now, don’t be surprised when he comes to Dutch oven you!