Genders Stymie Facebook Signup

By August 29, 2018Real Fake News

Manns Choice, PA – Bill Johnwood, aged 49, expressed his dissatisfaction with Facebook last month after attempting to sign up with the social-media giant.

“I was halfway through the short five-step process when it asked me to identify my gender,” Johnwood told UNN in a face-to-face interview. “Trouble is, it took too damn long! I kept looking and looking, getting lost in the Ls and the Zs, not to mention the various pieces of farm equipment it was asking me to consider when choosing my gender. Look, I’m just a simple man, so after a while, I just gave up. I had better things to do with my time. And if there are so many weird-gender people on Facebook that it had to add categories for them, it’s not for me.”

Johnwood’s failed face-off with Facebook’s modernity comes on the heels of growing public dissatisfaction with the social-media platform and many users protesting that its policy and political correctness are out of touch with an everyday user’s reality.

After UNN’s interview with Mr. Johnwood, one of his children told us in confidence that ze completed zer signup “in no time flat, and I was happy to finally find a site that included a choice matching my recent discovery that I am a rototiller.” Perhaps Mr. Johnwood would be well-served to follow Facebook’s lead and face reality. “Teach them well and let them lead the way.” Or at least get out of their way instead of getting plowed under.

Butonfly Bear

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