DEAR MAULEEN: I am terrified now that Kavanaugh has been confirmed. He is going to take all our rights away and overturn Roe v. Wade! I’m thinking about trying to move somewhere safer, where they won’t take our rights away. Do you have any suggestions for a location and how to raise funds quickly?
Handmaid in Fertile, Iowa
DEAR HANDMAID: I don’t know if this stuff is coming from a lack of civics education, our corrupt and lying media, or some combination of both. If one man holds enough power to take our rights away, we have a lot more problems than one supreme court confirmation. Our government is supposed to have checks and balances in place to prevent just such a threat.
That said, with all the executive orders and backroom deals our previous President pulled off, I can see where you would be confused. The fact that he did all of these things without the approval of Congress or the Senate is the exact reason they’ve been able to be undone so easily.
Roe v. Wade is not going to be overturned overnight – I wish it were that easy! First, someone would have to bring a case to the lower courts that could eventually result in overturning Roe v. Wade. It would have to work its way through the courts up to the Supreme Court, and the Supreme Court would then have to agree to hear the case. That would require more than just Kavanaugh’s agreement, by the way. If all of this happened – which would take quite a while (think of how long it took for the case to be heard about the gay wedding cake) – abortion would still not become illegal overnight. If Roe v. Wade were overturned, it would kick the legality of abortion back to the states. There are a few states that do have laws in place to immediately outlaw abortion should that happen. They are Mississippi, Louisiana, North Dakota, and South Dakota. Luckily for you, it’s easier than ever to travel to another state, so you’d still be able to kill your baby.
As for your actual question, if you want to go somewhere that is less likely to remove your rights, I’d recommend you look into Saudi Arabia. They’re not likely to take away any rights – mostly because you wouldn’t have any to begin with.
DEAR MAULEEN: I was trying to kick the cell phone out of a woman’s hand this week because she was filming me without my consent and making an argument against her rights. I can’t understand these women who are fighting against their own rights. I’m out there fighting for her, and she’s fighting against me! It makes me so angry that I just had to lash out at her. I would think women would see I only act this way because I care so much, but I ended up losing my job! What can I do to get across to these women?
Male Feminist in Toronto
DEAR MALE FEMINIST: You are disgusting. I’ve seen the video of your kick, of course. I just have to say your kick was the most pathetic round-house I’ve ever seen, and as a black-belt, I’ve seen and thrown a few myself. You didn’t even let her finish her sentence before you threw that so-called kick! If you can’t handle having a debate, stay home. You deserved to lose your job, and you deserve whatever the courts throw at you. I’m glad to hear the woman, Marie-Claire Bissonnette, is pressing charges. I have nothing else to say to you. I do have a message for the women out there, though: Take some self-defense classes. As I said, that kick was pathetic. With the left getting more and more violent, it’s more important than ever that we know how to defend ourselves.
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UNN barely advises using any tips in Bearly Advisable. If you need help, seek a professional.